


Cosplay Is Serious Business

by bzarcher



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Cosplay, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Multi, chatfic, i'm sorry i don't even know, so much trash, trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:43:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7818376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bzarcher/pseuds/bzarcher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>D.va is sent pictures of an Overwatch themed cosplay meetup by a fan. Chaos ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cosplay Is Serious Business

_**Overwatch Emergency Notification System** _

**(Which you will ignore yet again and just treat like Slack anyway.)**

_This is a NO MEME ZONE. -WINSTON_

 

**D.Va:** _Guys._

**D.Va:** _**_Guys._ ** _

**D.Va:** _**__OMG GUYS._ _ ** _

**McCree:** Kiddo, you realize it's 1am on a Friday night?

 **D.Va:** Like anyone here is actually asleep on a Friday night.

 **GENJI:** True.

 **McCree** : OK, yeah. What's got you so riled up?

 **D.Va:** So I was streaming.

 **Pharah:** There's a shock.

 **D.Va:** Yeah, ok, BirdMom. Can I tell you this? 

 **Pharah:**...

 **D.Va:** So I was streaming and I had a fan put a link up in my chat to this photo album. I totally forgot it there was a big Cosplay meetup in America last weekend.

 **GENJI:** Oh, TatoCon? I used to love seeing the pictures. Everyone talks about San Diego but you get much better themed shoots there.

 **D.Va:** That's the one! And guess what theme a bunch of people came out for this year?

 **McCree:** That robot dating game you and Mei keep babbling about?

 **D.Va:** omg I should totally see if they did a  _Doki Doki Robotto_ shoot. But that's not it.

 **Lucio!:** C'mon, don't keep us in suspense.

 **D.Va:** They had an OVERWATCH themed meetup and shoot!  _< <OWTato.album>>_

 **Pharah:**  what

 **Tracer:** Awwww!

 **D.Va:** I knoooooooooooooooooooooow. It's SO CUTE.

 **@Winston:** Hana. We've talked about this.

 **D.Va:** Positive perceptions of the organization in response to Overwatch operations, despite the PETRAS act, is a completely valid event to monitor. Good PR is vital right now if we want to get the general public behind us and force the UN to rescind their restrictions on Overwatch activity.

 **@Winston:**....

 **Tracer:** ooo, she's got you there luv.

 **@Winston:** carry on.

 **D.Va:** SO! Who wants to look at these with me?

 **Lucio!:** Like you even had to ask?

 **Pharah:** You're going to do it anyway. 

 **GENJI:** Also true. And I would like to see the pictures.

 **@Zenyatta:** As would I. 

**D.Va:** _< <GROUPSHOT.JPG>>_

**Mercy:** So many. Who would have guessed that?

 **GENJI:** At least 100 in costume! Very nice. It appears there are at least a dozen photographers in the frame as well.

 **D.Va:** You can probably bet on two or three photographers for each one we're seeing - and plenty of regular Con attendees. I bet they had 500 people in that atrium.

 **McCree:** Good thing it was outside. Hate to see anyone get hurt if there was a stampede.

 **D.Va:** This was put together by one of my fans, so of course he put the people dressing up like me first:  _< <DVAGroup.JPG>>_

 **Pharah:**  It doesn't bother you that a bunch of people are trying to dress up like you?

 **D.Va:** That's why I have a clothing line!

 **Shimada.Hanzo:** You have a clothing line?

 **D.Va:**  T-shirts, hats, hoodies, accessories. How do you think I pay for all this stuff? MEKA aren't cheap.

 **Lucio!:** Especially when you let Junkrat blow one up.

 **D.Va:** That was for charity!

 **GENJI:** I assumed you had some form of endorsements. Or a Patreon.

 **D.Va:** Well, yeah, that too. Where do you think all the Dew comes from?

 **Tracer:** I thought you bought groceries like the rest of us.

 **D.Va:** The monthly delivery is part of my endorsement contract. Might as well get paid to do it, right?

 **@Zenyatta:** I would also like a hat.

 **D.Va:** We'll talk. Anyway, it's fine. I think it's cute!

 **GENJI:** Cosplay is about capturing a character that speaks to you, and becoming part of them. I take it as a very sincere compliment.

 **D.Va:** Also that.

 **Mercy:** I like the girl wearing a cardboard box on her head. Is that supposed to be your MEKA?

 **Lucio!:** OH! That totally is! I just got that!

 **Mei-Ling:** Do you sell a headband accessory, or did they make them? 

 **D.Va:** I totally should - but no, they all made their own. 

 **Mei-Ling:** It's very nice work! I'm impressed!

 **D.Va:** I don't think I eat that many chips, though. It seems like every other one is scarfin'.

 **Pharah:** Hana, you answer to "Dorito Gremlin".

 **McCree:** You had to get me to help you clean nacho cheese powder out of your shootin' iron.

 **Mercy:** And the last time you went on a "stream binge", your bloodwork had 500% of the normal levels of sodium.

 **D.Va:** I came here to show you something amazing, and I feel totally attacked right now.

 **Tracer:** You're also not sayin' they're wrong, luv.

 **D.Va:** Yeaaaaaaaah. Anyway...  _< <GENJIGroup.JPG>>_

 **GENJI:** _Yosh!_ Five! I'm very well represented.

 **Lucio!:** What's with the black and blue one?

 **GENJI:** I had to disguise myself for an operation once.

 **Lucio!:** Aren't you, like, the only cyborg ninja in the world?

 **GENJI:** Plausible deniability.

 **Pharah:** If someone is dressing up like you, I don't think it worked.

 **McCree:** Still pretty impressive. Looks like a few of them even light up.

 **GENJI:** You can tell they're all wearing helmets, though. My head is not that big.

 **Shimada.Hanzo: ...** too easy.

 **GENJI:** It's not!!

 **Shimada.Hanzo:** Did I stutter?

 **@Zenyatta:** They're excellent likenesses, my student.

 **GENJI:** But my head is NOT that big.

 **@Zenyatta:** The self is a fluid notion. What we perceive and what others acknowledge are often different.

 **GENJI:** I'm sure there are more pictures.

**D.Va:** _< <SourWolf.JPG>>_

**Shimada.Hanzo:**  ...sour wolf?

 **McCree:** *dies*

 **GENJI:** Too bad you only had three dressed as you, brother.

 **Shimada.Hanzo:** Only one actually dressed in a proper yukata - and his tattoo is on the wrong side.

 **Shimada.Hanzo:** The others are ridiculous. I do not dress that way. Why would I cover myself in furs? 

 **McCree:** It's kinda nice, though. Makes you look real intimidating, darlin'.

 **Pharah:**....

 **GENJI:** what

**Lucio!: !!!**

**McCree:** uh. yeah. Slip of the tongue?

 **Pharah:** We're typing.

 **McCree:** Well would you look at that. ANYWAY, you got more pictures?

 **D.Va:** Not even sure I believe this:  _< <JunkratArmy.jpg>>_

 **Mercy:** Why in god's name would a dozen people dress up like Junkrat?

 **GENJI:** It is a fairly straightforward outfit. Easy to craft.

 **Pharah:** I still can't believe it.

 **Lucio!:** Bunch of 'em are wearing boots instead of the peg leg. Makes sense.

 **Mei-Ling:** I think the one with pop bottles instead of grenades is pretty cute. 

 **Tracer:** I'd much prefer he spend some time tossin' sodas around instead of bombs.

 **@Winston:** The one on the far right has a disturbingly accurate grenade launcher.

 **Lucio!:** His hair's just about perfect too. I can almost smell the smoke!

 **Mei-Ling:** Is his peg leg real?

 **Pharah:** Now that you mention it, has anyone actually seen Junkrat for the past week?

 **D.Va:** I thought he was back in Australia for something.

 **Mercy:** I was enjoying the quiet.

 **JUNRKAT:** Surpriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise!

 **@Winston:** Seriously?

 **GENJI:** I never knew you were a serious fan of cosplay, Junkrat.

 **JUNRKAT:** Course I am! I love anyone who takes a buncha junk and makes something cool out of it! And it's even better when it's ME! hehheeeehehe!

 **D.Va:** Mind blown.

 **D.Va:** Anyway, check these cuties out!  _< <Lucioooooo.jpg>>_

 **Lucio!:**  Aww, nice! That one guy made a fake sonic amplifier and everything!

 **Mei-Ling:** It's a shame none of them dressed up in hockey gear, though.

 **Lucio!:** Too hot. I can barely look at my hockey pants right now. I'd be dyin' in this weather if I was in all that gear outside. 

 **Pharah:** A few dressed up in futbol gear. That's pretty good.

 **D.Va:** I like the girl who made dreads out of PVC liner. She's almost got your look!

 **Lucio!:** Wish I knew who some of them are. I'd totally send out some pictures and letters.

 **Mercy:** That's very sweet of you.

 **D.Va:** Oh, and check this out!  _< <LuciosDance.jpg>>_

 **Lucio!:** Aww, unreal!

 **Tracer:** Totally adorable. I want to hug 'em all!

 **Lucio!:** Do I wave my hands around like that?

 **D.Va:** It looks better when you're actually moving to the music. 

 **Lucio!:** Huh.

 **D.Va:** Guess what we've got next?

 **Pharah:** Oh, I can hardly wait.

 **Mercy:** You could always go back to bed.

 **Pharah:** Not while you're giggling at the phone.

**Lucio!:** _< <Ohmyyyyyyyyy.jpg>>_

**@Winston:**  Lucio. You know the rules.

 **@Zenyatta:** I will check the meme jar in the morning. We will expect the customary donation.

 **Lucio!:** Worth it.

 **D.Va:** So worth it. Anyway, you know what time it is?

 **@Zenyatta:** 1:45am, Central European Time.

 **D.Va:** Nope!

**D.Va:** _< <ItsHiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighNoon.JPG>>_

**Mercy:** I'm a bit surprised there are only four dressed as him. I thought you were a notorious outlaw, Jesse?

 **Mercy:** Jesse?

 **Mercy:** @McCree?

 **Shimada.Hanzo:** The kauboi is occupied. But I have shown him the picture.

 **GENJI:** "occupied"

 **Pharah:** GO TO CHURCH.

 **@Zenyatta:** The nearest chapel does not open to the public for six hours.

 **Pharah:** I'm not volunteering to explain this one to him.

 **GENJI:** I'll clear it up for you later, Master.

 **D.Va:** Huh. Looking at the comments on the album's pictures, I guess there were technically five. But the one who isn't in the picture was a girl who had wrapped a stinky red blanket around her shoulders and kept slamming whiskey from a hip flask. When they tried to get her for the group shot, she was so drunk she fell over into the fountain.

 **Shimada.Hanzo:** She should have won an award for the most accurate portrayal.

**Lucio!:** _ded_

**Phara:** oooooooooooooooo.

 **Mercy:** I hope I have enough ointment in the cabinet for that burn.

 **D.Va:**  AngelMom joins the drag!!

 **GENJI:** Harsh. But also fair.

 **D.Va:** OK, everyone. Shield your eyes, because this is going to be too adorable.  _< <Meihem.JPG>>_

 **Mercy:**  Oh, so many of them are in copies of your parka, Mei! I hope none of them suffered from the heat.

 **Tracer:** Without a doubt, that is the cutest thing I have seen this entire week.

 **Zarya:** Hana.

 **D.Va:** BasedMom?

 **Zarya:** I will need copies of this one. For reasons.

 **D.Va:** Uh. Yeah, ok.

 **Mei-Ling:** Oh, several of them made little copies of Snowball! That's wonderful! I'll have to show him. He'll be very happy to see that.

 **Lucio!:** I can't decide if that was a deflection or if you're actually trolling us right now.

 **Mei-Ling:** ^_^

 **D.Va:** I'm not actually sure who this is supposed to be: << _Riotcop.JPG >>_

 **Mercy:** That's odd. She looks like she's dressed in tactical gear and holding a squirt gun.

 **Pharah:** Is...is that supposed to be me?

 **Tracer:** I guess she does have some bright blue armbands.

 **Pharah:** The Raptora doesn't look like that. 

 **JUNRKAT:** It's kinda tough to put together a big scary flyin' birdie suit on a budget.

 **GENJI:** That's a good point. 

 **Mercy:** She does look like she's wearing hair ornaments like yours. And it looks like she copied your tattoo.

 **Pharah:** I can't decide if that helps or not. :(

 **GENJI:** A large mecha is a very demanding project. If they arranged this in a short time, it would be very difficult to produce. She may have been trying to do the best she could with what she could secure in the time available.

 **Pharah:** that does make me feel a bit better.

 **D.Va:** Would it help if I show you a bunch of people dressed like AngelMom?

 **Pharah:** There's no substitute for the real thing. But. Yes.

**D.Va:** _< <MercyMercyMercyMercyMercyMercyMercyMercy.JPG>>_

**Mercy:** It's nice to be appreciated.

 **Lucio!:** Do you actually own a tank top that says "Doctor's Orders"?

 **Mercy:** I'm afraid answering that would violate doctor-patient confidentiality.

 **D.Va:** She totally has the "PROTECT THE HEALERS!" one though. I saw her wearing it in the gym.

 **GENJI:** Some of the Valkyrie suits are quite good. The one appears to have wings that actually open and close.

 **Mercy:** Yes, I'm quite impressed!

 **D.Va:** The one in the cardigan looks 1000% done.

 **Pharah:** She must have practiced. Also, you need a cardigan.

 **Mercy:** I'll make a note.

 **D.Va:** Oh god.

 **D.Va:** oh god.

 **D.Va:** I am gonna hurl.

 **Pharah:** We weren't that bad.

 **D.Va:** Not you.

**D.Va:** _< <Edgelords.JPG>>_

**GENJI:** That is quite a few Reapers. Why are there so many Reapers?

 **Lucio!:** More importantly, why is one of them wearing that pink lolita dress?

 **Soldier:76:** Someone did their research.

 **Pharah:**....

 **GENJI:** Have you been here this entire time?

 **Soldier:76:** Maybe.

 **D.Va:** Now I am definitely going to hurl.

 **@Winston:** I don't want to sound narcissistic, but are there any people dressed up like me?

 **Mercy:** Excellent save.

 **@Winston:** I try.

 **D.Va:** I'm afraid there aren't any in the album I was sent.

 **@Winston:** oh.

 **Lucio!:** Don't forget that you are literally an 800 pound gorilla.

 **Tracer:** Wearing a spacesuit. That's even more challenging than Pharah's suit. They'd essentially be making two different costumes and then making them work together!

 **@Winston:** Well, when you put it that way, I feel a bit better.

 **Tracer:** Happy to help!

 **D.Va:** On that note...  _< <TheCavalrysHere.JPG>>_

 **Tracer:**  Cor, that reminds me of the last time my accelerator went on the blink. 

 **Pharah:** Even the one wearing the raver outfit?

 **Tracer:** Well, not that one. More's the pity! She's got legs for days.

 **Mercy:** I believe it is now my turn to tell you to go to church.

 **Lucio!:** Or find a spider...

 **Tracer:** I don't believe I'll dignify that with an answer.

 **Tracer:** But maybe I'd like a copy of this one.

 **D.Va:** Uh-huuuuh. 

 **@Winston:** Did you have any others, Hana?

 **D.Va:** I wish I could say I saved the best for last, but I'm not actually sure that's true.

 **D.Va:** Still...  _< <WereAllDadsNow.JPG>>_

 **Tracer:**  oooo, the one in the golf pants!

 **Pharah:** I like the one trying to hold up all those photo albums.

 **Mercy:** I think that's actually a stamp collection.

 **Lucio!:** Is one of them trying to show off postcards?

 **Mei-Ling:** The one with wallet photos is awfully cute.

 **D.Va:** So many bathrobes.

 **GENJI:** Why is one holding up a sign that says "Salt is a Spice"?

 **Soldier:76:** We're done here.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a great album of photos from the Otakon Overwatch cosplay meet that happened a few weeks ago, and as I looked at pictures I started hearing commentary in my head and I don't KNOW it all went downhill from there. 
> 
> Anyone with a "@" in front of their names is an admin. Everyone got to set up their usernames after logging in the first time. 
> 
> I originally typo'd Junkrat's username by mistake, and then I realized that typoing his username and leaving it that way was so totally Junkrat.
> 
> Hope people can spot (and like!) the references I've made to some other fics I've read lately. :)
> 
> All meant in good fun and with mad props to every cosplayer out there, because you are amazing and brave and creative. Keep doing you.


End file.
